Sex-Ohhh!

When the words “Plays about sex” and “BSLC room 109” appear in the same sentence, most University of Chicago students scratch their heads and laugh for obvious, though not ill-founded, reasons: these “plays” are going to either cast mildly unattractive people to portray awkward scenes that could make seeing your parents in bed together seem less painful or emulate the “Sex Signals” presentation from Orientation Week that tempted many students at the University to consider asexuality as a new personal philosophy. And the Biological Sciences Learning Center (BSLC) is not the place to go to be entertained by sex. Surprisingly, “Sex-Oh!”, a play performed by Teatro Luna, Chicago’s first and only all-Latina theater company, didn’t fit into either category. Instead, the audience bore witness to witty sex confessions and reenactments of sex-related situations by six feisty Latinas whose honesty kept us all wondering what they would say next.

The lights dimmed in a lecture hall accommodating the audience, including the occasional theater buff and the Spanish students trying to fulfill their course requirements. Six young Latinas stood before us, and without saying a word to the audience, three of the women began to create a fast-paced rhythm by patting their legs while the three remaining members of Teatro Luna musically faked an orgasm while exclaiming “S-E-X-OH!” the title of their cabaret-style performance, which left many of the fellas saying “HELL-OH!”

The most captivating member of the troupe was the Oxford-educated phone sex operator/actress who taught the audience about the prominent position of brown nipples in the perverted gringo sex fantasy. As she spoke casually about the types of phone calls she receives, she would occasionally reenact parts of the conversation. These bits and pieces varied from the high-pitched bursts of floozy-like references to her brown nipples or high-pitched bursts of floozy-like references to her lady business while she clapped her lotion-covered hands together. Everyone giggled like they had when the same jokes were made in the middle school cafeteria, but the giggling died when she went into how her job required her to cater to the sick minds of her callers, one of whom asked for her to pretend to be a seven-year-old girl.

Although this story and some others had endings that seemed to negate the humor that was just presented, some were completely outrageous or just plain weird. In a sketch about some of the actresses’ inanimate turn-ons, the objects ranged from pens to Trader Joe’s to videogames to…Biblical stories? And out of all of the explanations that followed each object, the one about the Old Testament was really long to accommodate how much kinky stuff goes on throughout it, the kinkiest being the story of Sodom and Gomorra. Her defense was, “I don’t know, but with the right lighting, it could be hot!”